This is a chapter the author really didn’t want written for a few reasons. Some are: He wants the focus to be about the education and the content of the book; not about him. The message is important, not the messenger. While the vast experience and deep analytical understanding of the dynamics of his experiences is what qualifies him to write the OFFICIAL DATING FORMULA, he is often embarrassed by many of his  experiences and ashamed of many of his decisions. A paradox indeed. But he realizes there is a vicious cycle that must be broken to save many from avoidable pains and tragedy and being victims of the game; resulting in fewer victims and more victors.

Some say experience is the best teacher; but whose experience? Must you experience a bad situation to learn the lesson? Or, can you learn from another’s experiences, so you can dodge bullets and advance easier and faster with fewer scars (physically and emotionally)?

I will be brief here in simply giving you a glimpse at Dr. Debonair’s resume to give you an idea of his foundation for this book.

Dr. Debonair is a very accomplished and versatile man. Here are some notables: Championships in boxing, baseball, basketball, football, track, swimming. Always an overachiever. Started college early. Two full academic scholarships. A city employment supervisor at 17. A financial consultant at an international finance company at 18. Acquired his own house just shy of 18. Yes. At 12 or 13 (very mature), quickly developed into a lady’s man, a debonair and gentleman, and quickly into a bonafide scholar. Always well-dressed, well-spoken.  He was a man’s man at a young age. Masculine and macho. Sometimes too confident for his own good. With his prowess, he frequently intimidated much older people. Always the leader, the man with the plan. With these and so many more great attributes, he was bound to stumble over his handsome looks, charm and high IQ. For all his qualities, skills and maturity, he sometimes failed to exercise good judgment. 

He was a playboy with little or no restraint. Many would call his antics that of a womanizer. But the term has many definitions and connotations. In many regards, he was a womanizer. More than that, a master manipulator, with an unlimited supply of women who competed for his attention; and having his choice of women, conquests came too easily. While always the debonair and gentleman, instead of carrying the books of a girl of his interests to her class, most girls deferred, sometimes begged, to carry his books to class.   Instead of just one set of school textbooks (junior and high school) as everyone else, he finessed two sets. One for home, one for school; eliminating the need to tote books back and forth. Instead of one locker at school, he finessed a locker on every floor where he had a class.  Instead of jeans, khakis, t-shirts, and tennis shoes; he wore dress shoes, slacks, dress shirts and a tie, and walked with an attaché case. In high school, some teachers mistook him for a teacher and dated him.

As a young teen, he had threesomes and foursomes; usually dated women four or five years older when was 13 and 14.  By 15, most of his contacts were with women  22 to 25 years old. From 15 to 17, he frequently dated women in their early 30s. (And on occasions, he dated the mother, too) And occasionally, women in their 40’s. Frequently dated sisters and cousins, sometimes simultaneously.  In most cases, each woman knew and was okay with sharing him.  I’m using the word “dated” loosely, because in most cases there was no real dating, going out, spending money.   Just romance and/or just lust. He was a much sought after suitor. There were some that went into shock and muteness or mutism because he stopped dating them, causing parents to summon him for help.

Dr. Debonair “dated” on average  four or five different women a week; rotating women on his “list” constantly. Typically a woman may last in the rotation for a month. His bed was a revolving door for countless women. About every six weeks, he would do a marathon. He would schedule seven to ten women in a day, appointments every two hours, each “date” lasting 60 to 90 minutes. Yes, he had a strong libido. He sometimes would start his marathon late one evening through to the next evening. The first at 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm, the next from 10:00 to midnight or so. Resume in the morning, with someone who would prepare breakfast on Saturday or Sunday morning, and the parade would continue until the evening, then he would go dancing/partying.

Some called him a Don Juan, but he wasn’t. Don Juan was known for being an elaborate romancer, conquering almost any woman he wanted.  But his process was usually slow.   He bedded off-limits women, too. The times were different, and his methods were wild. But he was not known for “dating” thousands or even hundreds of women.

Wilt Chamberlain is reputed to have dated 10,000 women. But his mere celebrity made it easy. Plus, most encounters were quick and with women whose names he did not know. They were groupies. Wilt didn’t learn 10,000-women worth of information.

Dr. Debonair was no Wilt by sheer numbers.  But his approximate total exceeded normal, exponentially. This is not an autobiography, but simply a glance at some of his “dating” conquests and wild rides. You use your imagination for more. Throughout the book, you can read about some anecdotes he shares to reinforce a particular point.

Just know, Dr. Debonair is an expert through his exploits and vast and broad experiences.  Few men have done more or even near the same.

Also know, his pattern of manipulation, seduction, usury for his selfish sexual and lustful desires is something he regrets dearly.  He is ashamed.  He broke so many hearts.  Fortunately though, this behavior did not last a lifetime.  He started settling down; having realized the error of his ways. Through age, he always maintained his skills and attributes, but used them prudently, usually. He started educating people about dating. Many frequently encouraged him to write a book to reach many at once, instead of repeating himself for small groups at a time.  But the main inspiration and motivation to finally write the book was his daughter. One day she started asking questions about how to know when a guy is the right guy. And that question cannot be answered in just a brief conversation, it really requires a book.  So finally, it’s here.  Late but Great!